In my 21 years of marriage to a wonderful friend, I have discovered just like you that there are 2 rooms to which we run to from time to time. These rooms are called DEPRECIATION & APPRECIATION. When ur spouse does great stuff, u reach out to your appreciation room. When they don’t do so well, we go to the depreciation room. I have observed with shame that i stay too longer in the depreciation room than the appreciation room. This has largely changed now. Marriage relationship can be bedevilled by so many frustrations. She didn’t initiate sex. She lies there like a log of wood during sex. There’s too much salt in the food. He doesn’t lift a finger to help me in the kitchen. His stomach is buldging. He snores during sleep. In the depreciation room we say things like you NEVER, you ALWAYS, You must decide to stop running to this room and lingering there after every frustrating event in your relationship. It does you no good and drains the joy out of your marriage.
Love chooses to believe all things about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. As much as possible, love focuses on the positive. It’s time to start thinking differently. Let love
lead your thoughts and your focus. The only reason you should glance in the door of the Depreciation Room is to know how to pray for your spouse. And the only reason you should ever go in this room is to write “COVERED IN LOVE” in huge letters across the walls. Do u understand?
It’s time to move into the Appreciation Room, to settle down and make it your home. As you choose to meditate on the positives, you will learn that many more wonderful character qualities could be written across these walls. Your spouse IS a living, breathing, endless book to be read. Dreams and hopes have yet to be realized. Talents and’ abilities may be discovered like hidden treasure. But the choice to explore them starts with a decision by you. You must develop the habit of reining in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your mate.