Article: Ego Versus Partnership

Article: Ego Versus Partnership

It has been said that men tend to have an unhealthy or rather strong ego – especially African men.

When I asked my wife to drive us on our way out to Ikogosi last week, I was conscious that I was going against the grain of my ego and that of the African man or mindset. The initial plan was for her to start and I would take over probably after Ibadan.

Apart from my lack of familiarity with roads outside of Lagos, my wife trains drivers. She is clearly a more careful driver than I am. I felt like we were better off with her behind the wheels. She is my Abigail, my Priscilla, a real Proverbs 31 woman.

In addition to that, I wanted the sisters, my wife and her great friend (former flat-mate), to have enough space for the long journey. The three brothers could then sit behind – it was somewhat cramped given the size of the car.

It turned out to be a blessing because, at the multiple police stops, they merely led us to drive through each time they noticed a lady behind the wheels, two women sitting in front. There was one exception though. This time, the policeman asked why the men were sitting behind while a woman did the driving. He was clearly shocked and said the men didn’t even seem to be ashamed – he was right.

Although I wrestled with my feelings for a few seconds I kept my cool, holding onto all of the reasons as mentioned earlier.

We only noticed one other female driver throughout the over 6 hours of the journey – having missed the shorter and smoother road. Many of the men driving behind sought to overtake us once they noticed a woman was driving. You could see the despising look on their faces once they leveled up with us. And their surprise that three guys were sitting in the back seat. Men’s pride in full gear.

Even though I ended up driving all the way back from Ikogosi, the earlier experience brings up a few questions:

How many marriages are depriving themselves of the strength that comes from a partnership in which both spouses play to their full strength? – and that because of the ego or a lack of confidence on the part of the men. (Acts 18:1-3; 18-19; 26).

Could it be that men need to be confident enough to let women excel in certain areas of strength?

Could that help to curb the number of movements fighting for women’s rights in society? – sometimes even in church?

Gilbert Kimeng