This seminar, led by Kweku & Dr. Ekpedeme Wade, builds upon their foundational session (“Consider Your Ways 1.0”) to deepen understanding and application of biblical principles for strengthening Christ-centered marriages. Both speakers bring extensive personal experience and professional expertise—Kweku as a solutions architect with a strong faith commitment, and Dr. Ekpedeme as a board-certified family physician and licensed counselor specializing in integrating faith and counseling.
Core Themes and Insights
Marriage as Lifelong Discipleship:
Marriage is not only about happiness but primarily about holiness. Conflict and challenges are opportunities for spiritual growth, patience, humility, forgiveness, and sanctification. The goal is to reflect Christ’s love faithfully, especially during difficulties.
Communication in Marriage:
Effective communication is both a gift and challenge. The seminar revisits strategies like the Speaker-Listener Technique to promote grace-filled, loving dialogue where the aim is connection, not winning arguments.
Key biblical principles from James 1:19 emphasize being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, reflecting humility, restraint, and self-control.
Spiritual Activity vs. Spiritual Alignment:
Busy spiritual practices (prayer, fasting, ministry) do not guarantee a holy marriage. Spiritual activity is not the same as spiritual alignment. True holiness involves aligning the heart and actions with God’s will, particularly in how couples love and relate to each other.
Biblical Illustration from Ezra and Haggai:
The Israelites returned from Babylonian exile full of passion to rebuild the temple, but after laying the foundation, the work stalled for 16 years due to distractions and discouragement.
God’s rebuke through Haggai (1:4) confronts their misplaced priorities—living in “paneled houses” (luxuriously decorated homes) while neglecting the temple (God’s dwelling). This serves as a metaphor for marriages that focus on external success and comfort but neglect their spiritual foundation.
Misplaced Priorities and “Holy Distractions”:
Couples often begin with strong intentions but allow life’s demands—careers, children, ministry, and busyness—to distract from nurturing their marriage covenant. This gradual neglect parallels the Israelites’ delay in rebuilding the temple and represents a form of slow destruction.
Invitation to Realignment:
God calls couples to “consider your ways” (Haggai 1:5-7), meaning intentionally setting their hearts and directing their lives toward spiritual priorities and holiness in marriage. This involves honest self-reflection on what is working, what needs improvement, what must be removed, and what should be prioritized.
Practical Applications and Reflections
Four Reflective Questions for Couples:
1. What are we doing well?
2. What needs to improve?
3. What needs to be eradicated?
4. What must be built or prioritized next?
These questions encourage personal and joint prayerful reflection to foster growth and intentional change.
Holiness as the Foundation of Marriage:
Holiness manifests as humility, forgiveness, patience, kindness, and steadfast love—qualities that sustain marriage beyond feelings and appearances. Marriage is a covenant reflecting Christ’s love for the church.
Challenges of Unequal Spiritual Pursuit:
When one spouse pursues holiness more earnestly than the other, perseverance and personal growth remain essential. Individuals should focus on their own spiritual development, praying for and trusting God to work in their spouse.
Handling Difficult Issues:
Issues like drug abuse and infidelity require prioritizing safety, seeking counsel, and community support. While God hates divorce, scriptural options exist depending on the circumstances, emphasizing repentance and healing where possible.
Key Biblical Passages Referenced
| Scripture | Key Message
| James 1:2-4 | Consider trials as joy; develop perseverance and maturity.
| James 1:19 | Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.
| Haggai 1:4 | Confrontation about misplaced priorities (paneled houses).
| Haggai 1:5-7 | Command to “consider your ways” and redirect priorities.
| Ephesians 5 | Marriage as a mystery reflecting Christ and the church.
Definitions and Concepts
| Term | Definition/Explanation
| Heomi (Consider) | Greek term meaning to lead one’s thoughts intentionally, not be led by emotions.
| Simu (Consider) | Hebrew imperative meaning to set or direct the heart intentionally, focusing on spiritual direction.
| Amygdala Hijack | A neuroscience term describing emotional hijacking that triggers fight/flight responses in conflict.
|Paneled Houses | Luxuriously decorated homes symbolizing misplaced comfort and priority over God’s temple or marriage.
| Spiritual Alignment | Internal heart alignment and obedience to God’s will, particularly reflected in relationships.
Notable Quotes
– “Spiritual activity is not the same as spiritual alignment.”
– “Delayed obedience is still disobedience, and distraction is still destruction—just in slow motion.”
– “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”
– “You cannot out pray, out fast, or out give your way past misalignment in your marriage.”
– “Marriage is the only human relationship built on covenant love, reflecting God’s faithfulness.”
Seminar Conclusion
The seminar closes with a call to stop busying ourselves with spiritual performance and start yielding to God’s sanctifying work in our marriage and personal hearts. Couples are invited to realign their priorities, focusing on holiness as the foundation of a thriving marriage. The Wade’s emphasize that marriage is sacred ground for spiritual refinement, where God shapes character through patience, humility, forgiveness, and love.
Summary Table: Marriage Priorities vs. Challenges
| Priority/Ideal | Common Challenge/Reality | Biblical Response/Guidance |
| Building a Christ-centered marriage | Life’s busyness leads to neglect and distraction | “Consider your ways” (Haggai 1:5-7); prioritize God’s house (marriage) |
| Intentional communication | Reactivity, miscommunication, unresolved conflict | Practice Speaker-Listener Technique; be quick to listen, slow to anger (James 1:19) |
| Spiritual activity (prayer, ministry) | Spiritual busyness without relational connection | Seek spiritual alignment, not just activity |
| Mutual pursuit of holiness | Unequal spiritual conviction between spouses | Focus on individual holiness; pray for spouse; persevere |
| Marriage as a source of happiness | Expectation of happiness leads to disillusionment | Pursue holiness; happiness is the fruit of holiness |
This seminar offers a transformative biblical framework for couples to examine and realign their marriages with God’s design, shifting from performance to authentic spiritual partnership and growth.
